To get what you want in life, as these questions when you blow the candles.


Birthdays are, in their essence, a ritual to mark the passage of time. A flag you dig into each peak as you pass by. But they are also impolite reminders that you have finite time to muck about in t his playground. Do you really want to spend that time working hard to get a car that’s bigger than your country’s car and then wait for an opportunity to rub it in his his/her face? While we may be all be on our unique journeys, some wants are universal. Use your birthday to remind yourself of your real wishes and then focus on getting them.

Here’s a framework of things you might want to consider on each landmark birthday:-


25 years:- At 25, you’re at the threshold of adventure. You’ve probably got a job and a disposable income. You’re probably enjoying your money and maybe feeling a guilty about that too. Ask yourself.


What do I like about now?:- Don’t worry about finding your vocation or dream job. Instead, try out jobs and keep switching to something that interests you. “Turn the negatives around”. “If you are confused, it means you have too many options. Explore them to see if any can turn into a fulfilling career.” If you have been in one field for two or three years, think about whether you’d like to do this some more.


What should I hold on to?:- With work hours, social life and hobbies fall behind. You may outgrow your friends or obsessions. Think about things that brought your happiness — a friend’s sense of humor or the magically available breakfast. Would you like to keep that? Then call that friend up or appreciate your mom more so that the breakfast keeps appearing.


Where is my money going?:- Where your money is willingly spent is a good indicator of passions. Are you eating out a lot? Is it for the company of people or the love of food? Are you buying gadgets? Why? If your answer is that you do it to enjoy the experience, this is passion, you want to fuel as it is essential to your growth and personality. If you do it to talk about it to others, it’s a distraction. A status symbol. What are you distracting yourself from?


30 years:- At 30, you’re pointed in the direction where you want to head. How’s your personal life? Are you with someone or have you had a string or satisfying short-lived romances. What ever your situation, 30 is for changing gears.


When am I bored?:- Boredom is dull reminder of dissatisfaction. In a typical day, when are you most bored At work or when you are with your partner? This needs you attention. Think about what can you do to being zing to it.


What am I addicted to?:- Addiction is a distraction and it does not mean alcohol or cigarettes. “You could be addicted to talking on the phone or bitching.” “Addiction takes our mind off something we should address.” What are you procrastinating and why?


What have I learnt?:- Make a list of skills you’ve learnt — getting up on time also counts. Is there a way you can apply them to a larger picture to make your life closer to the ideal? Do it.


35 years:- At 35, you’re in grave danger of becoming cynical and pessimistic. you’re probably really comfortable and don’t want to shake things up. You might even dismiss dreams as juvenile. Don’t disappoint your 25-year old self. Ask yourself this.


What do I want to throw away?:- What have you been accumulating? The opinion of others? Every tiny humilating memory? Make a list and then tear it up. Every time you find yourself revisiting a memory, or thinking “this will make them like me” slap yourself mentally. You are too old to live for others.


Have I been wasting time?:- This is a Yes or No question. What would you rather do? Why aren’t you doing it? Get to it now.


What do I want to focus on?:- How’s your health? Spent time with parents lately? What’s happening in your kid’s life? All okay? So what do you want to focus on? You’ll have the answer if you’ve answered the earlier question honestly.


40 years:- At 40, it’s really time to make it about yourself. Hopefully, you’ll have nice disposable income, teenage kids with lives of their own and an egg nest. While there is no such thing as too late, a sense of self-direction is vital. It’s a time to rekindle your relationship with yourself.


Who am I becoming?:- Who do you resemble most? Every time someone says we resemble so-and-so, we tend to think of the bad things. Instead think of the things that person had in his/her favor and how she/he utilized them. Learning from mistakes is evolution.


What do I worry about?:- Your family’s health? Finding time? You need to free up mental space. Would spend more time with your folks help you cope with their loss better? Would setting up a fund help you call your children less? If you always worry about running late for everything, remember time is deep, not long and not everything needs to be done “NOW”.


What’s stopping me?:- Ultimately, it’s that same question. What is stopping you at this point from doing what you want? What are you trying to prove and to whom? Stop it. Get living.


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