Becoming a parent is an exciting new adventure to embark on and ensuring you’ve got all your baggage checked in, seat-belts tied and tickets booked will make the journey more enjoyable. Couples should get in place before they begin to choose baby names and buy the little booties.


HEGEMONY VERSUS INSTINCT:- As soon as the mandap comes down, that annoying question erupts: “When is the good news”? To prepare your fertility to the world and family is the worst reason to have a baby. It doesn’t matter if dada wants to see his grandchild by next year. Having babies is NOT necessarily the next step after marriage. Have them only if you and your partner feel ready to take your relationship to the next level.


HEALTH UP:- Gear up mentally and physically. As the baby will be a tenant in the mother’s body for nine months, her psychological and physical health influence the foetus. In consultation with your doctor or gynecologist, undergo a list of tests. Mental health is also important because how the mother feels and what she thinks during her pregnancy affects the foetus.


MOOLAH JHAMELA:- Having a baby means inviting many new expenses. Plan for short-term and long-term expenses and also have a contingency plan for emergencies, say a C-section during delivery. Also budget for the baby’s medical needs, clothes, toys, books and schooling. If the mother is working, the couple needs to be aware about how far they can go on a single income if she is required to quit her job. Mothers often repent after “abandoning” their baby for work. So, for the health of the family, cushion your parental journey financially for a few years after the baby arrives or work out alternatives such as flexi-timing, freelancing, working from home, etc.


EMOTIONAL WORK OUT:- Spouses need to know each other well before plunging into parenthood. Talk to your partner whether he/she is ready to have a baby, both of you need to be equally excited. And if you are NOT, it is okay to clarify goals such as “I will feel more comfortable having baby in two years, when we have a car” or “When I am able to take care of the home loan by myself.” Setting a time frame will help you warm up to the idea. Discuss the responsibilities that come along with the baby and spend time with babies to understand how you feel around them.


CHECK IN THE BAGGAGE:- Most of us have emotional issues that make people feel under confident to be a mother or father, but they don’t have to come in your way. Being aware of them is half the problem solved, and seeking professionally help takes care of the rest. Studies show that most people who are physically abused as children grow up to be abusive parents as they are conditioned to use violence as an expression of anger, disappointment and frustration. “People who grow up neglected tend to have a low emotional quotient and treat parenting as any other joyless martial task.” Those who grow up with perfectionist or over demanding parents have low self esteem or feel made inadequate. They feel the need to overprotect their own child to try and undo what their parents did, and thus suffocating their child. Working out such painful experiences with your partner and the help of a counselor will set you up for a smooth sail.


PICK A STYLE:- Most important is to be on the same parenting page as your partner, never matter if you can’t decide on a name. Just don’t hold a grudge against him or her! You’ll learn a lot of parenting along the way but some things need to be decided early on. The parenting approach is important. What are your ideas on discipline? Do you hold academic excellence above artistic abilities? What are your religious values? Do you place value in material accomplishments? Be solving conflicts in major areas will ensure both of you have a consistent and appropriate approach. Both parents have to agree on core values to avoid sending out the incorrect or inconsistent messages. Concur on the involvement of both sets of grandparents to avoid bias. If either parent has unhappy childhood memories, they should be resolved. You can discuss how to limit the exposure of undesirable relatives to the child.






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